


Insane Train of Thought

by Legato_Staccato



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cockroaches, Crack, Detention Prison Break, Everyone Loves Kenjirou, Evil Genius Kano, F/M, Fashionista Momo, Fluff and Humor, Getaway Driver Kido, Hibiya Le Chef, How Do I Tag, Humor, Mekakushi Dan - Freeform, Pokemon References, Takane is Done, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-18 19:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15492762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legato_Staccato/pseuds/Legato_Staccato
Summary: A prison breakout, Momo’s makeup skills, destroyed pastries and… a date?! It’s up to Kano’s insane genius and the help of his reluctant friends to stop a match that isn’t meant to be.





	Insane Train of Thought

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for trying out our little story - our first one, in fact! My name is Staccato, or Cat, for short. I wrote this with my sister, Legato, also known as Lea.  
> This was loosely based on silvermoonstone23's Pokespe fanfic, "Any Given Psycho." Please check her out on Fanfiction.net if you are into that fandom!  
> We took inspiration from several different Kagepro writers. Thank you guys for never abandoning the fandom and giving us such good content. You're the best.  
> Please enjoy our humorous little oneshot!
> 
> Freshman - Hibiya, Momo  
> Sophomore - Kido, Kano, Seto, Marry  
> Junior - Ayano, Shintaro, Haruka, Takane

"Everyday, I wake up in the armpit of this alien world.” Shintaro groaned into the table.

“Well, no wonder you smell like one,” Takane retorted sourly, searching through the music on her phone. “Children, children,” Kano sighed against the table. “Can you hush up? I’m trying to sleep and finally die in peace. It’s too hot for all your nonsense.”

“By ‘die in peace’ do you mean finally escaping the armpit of this alien world?” Takane snickered.

“I regret being born,” Shintaro said, voice muffled by his sleeve. “If it means I’m cursed to spend the rest of my childhood with you freaks.”

“You know,” Haruka interjected. “You could start working on the big book report that’s due tomorrow.” The perfect student was working on his book report diligently despite the late spring heat in the school library.

“That’s due tomorrow?!” Takane screeched. “I thought it was due next week, dang it!” Shintaro let out a long groan equal to the sound of a camel.

“We have ours due tomorrow too, but it’s fine,” Kano sighed, sitting up and giving up on the hope of taking a nap. “I can finish it later tonight.”  
Before Takane could speak her next thought, a loud blaring ringtone blasted through the quiet high school library.

“Shhh!!!” The librarian hissed at Shintaro, who quickly grabbed at his vibrating phone.

The lady was like 120 years old and scared the hell out of all students. There was something threatening about her shushing. Momo had once sworn that the librarian was a demon who could send you to the gates of Tartarus by giving you that dirty look, Kano remembered idly, watching a pale faced Shintaro fumble with his phone.

“Is that your ringtone? Seriously?” Takane snickered quietly to avoid attracting the librarian’s attention. “Your ringtone is actually Theory of Happiness? Ayano’s favorite song? What a stalker.”

Shintaro, unable to retort since his phone was now next to his ear, simply glared, red faced, at Takane.

“Hello? Ayano? What do you want?” he said, keeping a low voice level.

“Oooh! Is it a talk between lovers?” Kano teased, leaning towards Shintaro in hopes of eavesdropping on his conversation. Shintaro shoved Kano’s face away.

“What? Ayano? Wait-- no-- I can’t… huh? Slow down!” Shintaro said into the phone.  
Kano crept carefully to Shintaro’s side and attempted, once again, to listen in.

"Back off, Kano.” Shintaro said, turning his back to the sophomore.

“Eh? Is Kano with you?” Ayano’s voice came from Shintaro’s device. “Put it on speakerphone! He needs to hear this, too! All of the dan does!”  
Shintaro glanced nervously in the direction of the demon-librarian and motioned to the others to follow him to a table in the very back.  
Once there, he put his phone on speaker, but at the lowest volume possible.

“You’ve got to help!! I can’t do anything!! My mom gave me the flu yesterday!” Ayano said, the panic and sickness in her voice clear. “Marry is going on a date!! And it’s not with Seto!”

“WHAT?!” Four collective voices exclaimed, followed quickly by 4 pairs of hands slapping on mouths and cautious glances to see if the librarian had heard anything.

“Ayano, what exactly happened?!” Shintaro said in a low whisper

Marry and Seto were 2 members of their group of friends that was called the Mekakushi Dan, or the dan for short. It was pretty obvious both of them liked each other, except to Marry and Seto of course. Marry was a sophomore who looked like a freshman due to her very short stature. She was also extremely sweet and extremely shy. Seto, a sophomore as well and Kano’s childhood friend, was a huge animal lover. Unfortunately, the boy was also as dense as a brick wall when it came to expressing his feelings of romance.

“W-well,” Ayano stuttered, sounded close to tears. “I think Marry has given up on the hope that Seto even likes her.”

“That’s crazy talk!” Takane spoke up. “Anybody can see the two of them are crazy for each other!”

“Not Marry!” Ayano coughed on the other side of the line. “She’s still convinced that Seto only likes her as a friend and views her as a sister. He’s never done anything that suggests otherwise to her!”

“How did she get this date?” Haruka asked, not looking up from his book report.

“Someone asked her out! You know Miyazaru? In class B? Well, he’s always had a crush on her, and he asked her out yesterday as we were walking home and she actually said yes! I think she wants to use this chance to get over her feelings for Seto, but that CAN’T HAPPEN! My darling children have to get together!!”

“Ayano, Ayano, chill,” Shintaro said, clutching his forehead, looking more exhausted by the second. “All we have to do is stop the date and get Marry and Seto together, right?”

“I don’t know when and where the date is,” Ayano whimpered. “All Marry said was that it was after school today and it was at a café that she liked. SHE LIKES EVERY CAFÉ SHE WALKS INTO THAT SERVES TEA. Please, I need your help guys. I don’t even know where Seto is!”

“Oh yeah,” Kano smirked. “Yesterday, we were cleaning up the science lab when Seto saw the cockroaches. Said they looked cramped in the cage and decided to give them a breath of fresh air. Well, turns out the biology teacher does not like roaches and only keeps them for educational purposes. It was legendary. I think there are still some in the building, we could only find like 10 of them. Anyway, Seto has detention for the rest of his life.”

“How did he react to hearing about Marry’s date?” Takane asked, after getting over her initial disgust at Kano’s alarming story.  
“He told her to have a good time and enjoy herself!” Ayano wailed out of the phone. “He said that right to her face! The girl looked heartbroken!”  
Takane clicked her tongue. “Poor girl,” she grunted. “Not her fault that her crush is a dense idiot.” She gave a long, baleful glare at Haruka, who continued to write his book report obliviously

“Kano,” Ayano said pleadingly. “I’m in desperate need of your evil genius. I can’t be there, I’m really sick.” Kano scooted in closer to the phone, much to Shintaro’s displeasure.

“I’m listening big sis,” he smirked. “One evil genius coming right up. Don’t you worry, I’ve got a plan. You just stay home and recover.” With that Kano hung up the phone and turned to the others.

“We’re gonna need a bag of old makeup, some water guns, a car, and a freshman. Listen close, guys.” The four leaned in and listened to Kano’s quiet murmurs. When he was finished, they recoiled in shock, looking at Kano in a mix of fear, respect and amazement.

“You are an evil genius,” Shintaro muttered in awe.

“Na,” Kano chuckled. “Anyone with an insane train of thought can think up this stuff. Now excuse me, I need to step out for a bit. The rest of you get started.” With that, Kano stood up and exited the library. 

 

...

 

“What else? What else? What else?” Kido Tsubomi mumbled to herself. “What else was supposed to go in this stupid book report? I can’t believe it’s due tomorrow…”  
Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, lacking inspiration. She hadn’t liked the book, so how was she supposed to write a report on it? She wrote a few sentences and almost immediately deleted them, disliking how they were phrased.  
Kido gave a frustrated sigh. “I’ll never get this done in time!”

She instinctively picked up her phone, the way she did when she was bored or without ideas. She jumped a little when the screen lit up with the caller labeled as DO NOT ANSWER.  
She set her phone down, taking the call as a sign from the heavens to stop procrastinating, and turned back to her unfinished book report.>

Her phone soon rang again with the same caller. Kido was glad when it stopped, but then it buzzed for the third time. She groaned and put her phone on do not disturb, hoping she would be able to take it off the action soon. But just as she was setting it down, her screen lit up brightly, the words DO NOT ANSWER shining above two choices: ignore and answer. Kido bit her lip. It could be a real emergency.

Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and answered the call.

“Kano, I am working on the freaking book report that’s due tomorrow, so, if you value your life, this had better be an emergency.” Kido hissed.  
“Geez, Kido,” Kano said smoothly. “You gotta chillax. It’s an emergency.”

“If this is one of your ‘emergencies,’ I swear--”

“Ayano asked us to help out.”  
Kano grinned when the other end of the line went silent. Kido would do anything for their ‘big sister.’

“Long story short, Marry is going on a date,” he said, “with some dude that isn’t Seto-- what was his name again? Mizan? Mizuki? Mizo? Mmmm, that sounds like miso soup… oh, wait, it could have been Mizaki… unless that’s the one guy who made Studio Ghibli…”

“KANO!!” Kido yelled. “Get to the damn point already!”  
Kano took a minute to revel in the annoyance he heard in her voice before continuing, “So, anyway, since Marry and Seto are made for each other, we’ve got to stop the date and get them together. Big sis wants it, but she caught the flu and can’t get out.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Kido asked, her voice betraying a slight bit of interest.

“You’re the only one who's got a car in the dan, right?” Kano said.

“...”  
“I said, riiiiight?”  
“...”  
“Helloooo?”  
“...I’ll meet you in front of my garage in ten minutes.” Kido sighed.

“Yes! I knew I could count on ya, Kido!” Kano fistpumped.

“Don’t think you’ll get off scot-free.” the girl warned. “You owe me a book report by the end of the day, and it better be grade A material.”

“You got it, boss.” Kano chuckled. “And about meeting you outside… I’m already here.”  
Kido stiffened then leapt from her chair, pulling back the thick green curtain that at covered the window.  
There stood Kano, looking up and waving with a cocky grin plastered to his face. Kido gave him a fiery glare.

He was there the whole time, that assuming little twerp!

Kido gave a scream of frustration, snatched up her car keys, and stomped outside.

"Well, hello there--” Kano began as soon as she arrived.

“Shut up.” she growled, throwing the car door open.  
Kano sat down in the silver Toyota with a wide smile, and Kido started the engine with such ferocity that Kano fancied its breaking.

“Where to?” Kido huffed.

“Back to the school,” Kano grinned. “It’s time for a prison break.”

 

…

 

“Choir… choir club,” Takane Enemoto mumbled to herself as she walked down the hallway, occasionally checking the doors. She wasn’t sure what the Choir club looked like. All Shintaro had said was: “You’ll know the sign when you see it.” 

Yeah, big help that was.

“Why am I even doing this?” Takane muttered to herself. “Why me? I don’t know a thing about…”  
She trailed off as she noticed a bright neon green sign. It was covered in little orange and yellow sushi with the faces of grown men. The handwriting on it was barely legible. But Takane was pretty sure it read: Choir Club!!!, seeing as the decoration could be the work of only one person.

“Oh no!” Momo Kisaragi, Shintaro’s little sister, exclaimed after Takane told her the whole story and Kano’s master plan. “Of course I’ll help out! Marry-chan is one of my dearest friends! I couldn’t stand to see her hurt by the one she loves.” Takane grinned. That had been easy enough.

“Great! So our job is to find out where exactly the date is taking place. Our backup story is that we’re doing Marry’s makeup for the date. You take care of the makeup. I’m just biking you to her house and we’ll press her for details. Causally and subtly, Momo. Subtly,” Takane warned the pop-idol in training. Momo nodded vigorously, but Takane couldn’t help but be wary, especially after seeing the sign on the front door.

“Of course Takane Senpai!” Momo reassured the pigtailed girl. “I’m very subtle! Also, I have some leftover makeup from one of my shoots in my locker. Just let me stop there on the way out.” Takane nodded.

“Alright. Let’s hurry though.” The two girls quickly set out down the hallway towards the locker room. 

 

…

 

“Really?” Shintaro groaned on the table, in the exact same position that he had been in when Kano left. “You really let Momo go do Marry’s makeup? Cause at this point, we won’t even need your ‘master plan,’ Kano. Momo will just scare Marry’s date off with her makeup skills. Problem solved.”  
Kano, who had just burst into the library, tugging a murderous looking Kido behind him scoffed at Shintaro’s suggestion.

“You dare doubt an evil genius?” Kano snorted. “I have it all planned out. I sent Takane with Momo purposely. She’ll keep Momo from going too crazy with her - ah - unique taste.” Haruka nodded thoughtfully at Kano’s statement.

“Takane will take care of Momo,” he smiled, all sunny and cheerfully. “She always keeps me from doing dumb things, she’s such a responsible girl.”

“Good!” Kano beamed, ignoring Shintaro’s mutters about normal fags and lovestruck idiots. “We have our getaway driver now” - “Getaway driver?!” Kido screeched - “so let’s proceed with the prison break! Except for you.” Kano motioned to Haruka.

“I promised my darling Tsubomi” - a red faced Kido smacked Kano over the head - “a grade A material book report,” he continued without pause. “And you, Haruka, my favorite senpai, are the smartest, kindest, most generous friend I have. I can entrust this important task only to you my friend. So, will you aid me on the quest to appease this raging beas-”  
Kano’s dramatic monologue was stopped with Kido’s fist in his gut. Haruka couldn’t help but laugh at the antics of his underclassmen, watching as Kano keeled over in pain.

“Of course!” He said sweetly. “You guys are my friends! And so is Marry; she’s gonna need all the help she can get. Just tell me what book it’s on, I probably read it last year too.”  
As Kido gratefully told Haruka the book’s title and the details on her assignment, Kano turned to Shintaro.

“So do you have the freshman?” He asked glancing around the library, not seeing a certain short boy anywhere. Shintaro scowled.

“I know where he is. I just couldn’t convince him to help us out,” the former HikiNeet said. “That ungrateful little brat. Do you know how many times I’ve tutored him in Geometry? How many times I’ve saved that boy’s grade? Let me tell you, he owes me way more than one little favor.” Kano rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“A wise person once said, ‘when favors fail to work, love will find a way,’” he quoted.

“Who said that?” Shintaro snorted in disbelief.

“Me!”  
“Of course you did.”

 

…

 

Hibiya Amamiya generally disliked most things. He disliked marker stains, broccoli, uncapped toothpaste, pencil lead that broke easily and annoying right-in-your-face idol girls. But there were things he did like. Two, to be exact. He liked his neighbor and childhood friend, Hiyori. Sure, she was bossy and mean sometimes, but seeing her smile always made up for all the pain she constantly put him through.  
Hibiya also enjoyed cooking. Call him unmanly, but it was something he genuinely enjoyed, and was pretty good at too. So when his annoying HikiNeet of a tutor had rushed into the home economics classroom without a second thought of the quiche sitting peacefully on a cooling rack behind the door, Hibiya had been reasonably upset. Had it been any other occasion, of course Hibiya would have wanted to help out his friends. He loved them, even if he didn’t like them most of the time. Plus he kinda owed Shintaro for all those free tutoring sessions. But that particular quiche was a very delicate recipe, it needed proper time to cool and for the crust to set. It had also taken him 2 days to create, kneading the dough, creating the filling, baking it to perfection and topping it with his special garnish.

Or it would’ve been topped with his special garnish. If Shintaro hadn’t knocked his masterpiece to the floor, that is.  
So when the HikiNeet rudely started belting out about how they needed his help because frog boy was an idiot, Hibiya had not been in the most helpful mood. If he remembered correctly, he recalled screaming “MYYY QUUUICHEEE!!!!!” then whacking Shintaro out the door with his spatula. 

Gross, he’d have to deep clean and sanitize that spatula before he used it again. 

With a sigh, Hibiya turned back to his ruined creation.

“You would’ve been beautiful,” he sobbed over the smashed dish. “So beautiful, you could’ve even rivaled Hiyori.”  
Hibiya was broken out of his sobs by the annoying sound of a ringtone. He rubbed at his teary eyes and glared at the offending electronic. The screen lit up with a new message. 

Auntie: hey, sry about your pie! Big bro says sry 2, didn’t notice when he came in

Auntie: we can make some together tomorrow if u want

Hibiya: it’s not a pie, it’s called a quiche 

Hibiya: and no way, ur cooking sux

Auntie: ehhhh?!?? what did u say!! >:(  
my cooking is amazing!

Hibiya: lotus flowers

Auntie: WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT

Auntie: ANYWAY we rly need ur help so cmon to the library

Hibiya: never. Ur stupid hikineet of a bro just ruined my life

Auntie: ur life isn’t a pie. If u dont want me to help u make another 1 im sure u can make a second perfect pie urself. Ur an amazing kid after all (even if u insult mah cooking)!

Hibiya turned pink.

Hibiya: it’s a quiche like i said

Auntie: pls help!!!!!! (＞＜)

Hibiya: no and leave me alone

There was no response for a few minutes, so Hibiya thought that maybe, just maybe, she had given up. He turned back to his once beautiful quiche with another small sob.  
Hibiya started when the annoying ringtone sounded again. He glared at it but checked the new message all the same. It was a recording. 

Auntie: my latest song. No 1 but the manager and the recording team has heard it yet. Called moon viewing recital. Lemme know what u think of it. Mayb itll cheer u up about ur piequichethingie

Hibiya, skeptical, played the recording.

Momo's voice sounded melodious and soothing as it reverberated around the quiet room.

Hibiya, much to his surprise (and great annoyance), did feel better. With a reluctant sigh, he exited the kitchen and headed toward the library. His friends needed him, after all.

 

…

 

“So,” Shintaro whispered to Kano, sitting next to him behind the water fountain. “What’s the plan? We just break in and break out?” Kano shook his head

“Such is the mind of a simpleton,” Kano tssked quietly. Shintaro grumbled and mumbled something about bratty sophomores who think they know everything. “I have a much better scheme in mind than ‘break in and break out.’ Why do you think we needed the kid?”

“‘The kid’ can still hear you guys, you know!” Hibiya hissed from behind a classroom door. “And I agree with Shintaro-- you sure your plan is solid?”  
Kano nodded. “98%?” He laughed nervously.

“That’s 2% unsure,” Shintaro deadpanned.

“I don’t need you to the math, you HikiNeet,” Kano huffed. “Well, if we aren’t discovered and if the distraction works and if Kido doesn’t leave cause I forgot to tell her the details of the plan then we should be fine! No worries!”

“We’re doomed,” Hibiya groaned into the wall.

 

…

 

Kenjirou Tateyama could be having a better day. First of all, he woke up late and arrived at the school to utter mayhem in his classroom. Something about high schoolers and no teacher that created destruction in a learning environment. Then he forgot his lunch, homemade by his darling wife, at home and had to deal with the crappy cafeteria food only suitable for animals and teenagers. And he was stuck with detention duty! Azami-san, the principal, had hardly been sympathetic either. She had given him a baleful glance and told him to suck it up and quit whining. But worst of all, his precious daughter was sick! With the flu! It took all of Kenjirou’s willpower to keep from running back home to help his daughter (even if he only ever did more harm than good, last time he tried to “help” heal his daughter he knocked over the last bottle of cough medicine).

Kenjirou groaned into his attendance sheet, wondering what he had ever done to offend the universe and curse himself with back luck. He silently begged forgiveness for whatever it was he had done wrong.

So when the sophomore dressed in green accidentally dropped his algebra textbook on the floor, Kenjirou was reasonably startled and fell out of his chair.

Everyone in the classroom laughed at him. Kenjirou felt humiliated, it was like his high school years all over again.  
Embarrassed and annoyed, Kenjirou slammed his hands down on the table threateningly, silencing the room. At least it felt pretty threatening, but it sure did hurt his palms.

“You!” He called, motioning to the green boy who had dropped his textbook. The boy looked around in confusion until realization dawned in the eyes and pointed to himself with a questioning gaze. “Yes, you! Come up here!”  
Slowly, the sophomore trudged to the front, wondering what in the world he had done wrong.

“Now,” Kenjirou said with gritted teeth. “Why did you drop your textbook? Is this your idea of a prank, young man? Well, it’s not funny to disturb our educational environment.”

Okay, so maybe half the occupants were sleeping and the other half were on their phones, definitely not doing anything educational, but that was besides the point. Kenjirou was in a very bad mood and this… this little delinquent thought he could mess with him! Oh no, he would soon learn that a sensei is not to be trifled with, Kenjirou thought viciously.

The boy had the nerve to look confused.

“It was an accident Sensei,” he said with obvious fake innocence, Kenjirou noted. “I was putting away my homework and it slipped out of my grasp.”  
Kenjirou scoffed.

“An interrupter and a liar?” He snarled. “Maybe you would prefer the principal’s office.”  
To his surprise, the boy nodded happily.

“That would be awesome!” He exclaimed. “Azami-sensei is the best! Marry and I visit her all the time at lunch anyway, but I missed that today cause of this detention. I promised to bring her some cookies, too. I feel bad for breaking that promise. Uh, not that you’re not awesome, too, Sensei!”

This dismayed Kenjirou. Making bad students happy was the opposite of his goal anyway. Instead, he shook his head.

“This is your first warning, boy,” he snarled. “I’ll be watching you. Try something again and you’ll be in detention for the rest of your life.” Kenjirou pointed two fingers at his eyes then at the sophomore in front of him, then repeated the action. “I’m watching you.” The boy nodded (a bit too cheerily for Kenjirou’s preference) and returned to his seat.“Kids,” he scoffed to himself and turned back to his attendance sheet. “Now... what was that kid’s name again…”

 

...

 

Not two minutes after the incident with the boy in green, loud whooping came from out in the hallway.

“That’s it!” Kenjirou screeched and stood up, knocking over his chair violently on the way up. He strode purposefully and majestically (it felt pretty majestic, at least) to the door before slamming it open. In the hallway, there was a freshman. A freshman. Kenjirou curled his lip in disgust. He despised freshmen. They always thought they were mature and knew everything when they were still actually little brats who needed mommy’s help to do homework. This particular freshman was small, which was enough in itself to annoy Kenjirou. Small people were pitiful. The freshman was running up and down the halls, whooping and screaming for no particular reason. Kenjirou might have been suspicious as to why he was doing something so pointless, if he hadn’t been blinded by total rage at this annoying little freshman. Kenjirou gritted his teeth and ran after the boy.

“You there! What do you think you’re doing?! Detention!!”

 

...

 

“See?” Kano smirked, as he and Shintaro poked their heads out from the classroom in which Hibiya had previously been hiding. They watched as Hibiya ran for his life away from an irate Kenjirou-sensei. “I told you it would work out fine. All teachers hate freshman, especially Ayano’s dad. When I went over once last year, he threatened to shoot me and bury me in the woods if I stepped over their property line. I would watch out if I were you, Shintaro. If he threatened to shoot Ayano’s friend, imagine what he would do to her boyfriend.” Shintaro was too pale to protest that he wasn’t Ayano’s boyfriend. Not yet, at least.

“Okay! Now’s our chance!” Kano announced, dragging a reluctant Shintaro out of the classroom.

“I can’t believe this…” Shintaro muttered under his breath.  
With a grin, Kano shoved a plastic Pokemon mask onto Shintaro’s head (much to the discomfort of the former neet) and placed a similar one upon his own face.

“To protect our identities,” he explained briefly. “And who doesn’t love Pikachu?”  
Shintaro wanted to argue that he sure didn’t and really wanted to go home, but he thought better of it (aka he was too lazy to).  
They snapped on dark gloves before shouldering identical water guns.

“Isn’t this a bit extreme?” Shintaro asked, not bothering to hide the skepticism in his voice. His mask was uncomfortable.  
Kano wagged a gloved finger at his companion. “You can never be too careful, my friend.”

“Who’s your friend?”

“‘Operation: Kidnap Seto and get to Marry so we can stop her date and make everybody happy’ GO!”

"That’s way too long of a title.”  
“I repeat: GO!”

 

...

 

The occupants of room 1516 watched as their overseer (A.K.A. Kenjirou Sensei) left the room looking like a murderous bull. As soon as he left, students began to talk to one another and the room was filled with noise, but quiet enough as to not draw the teacher back inside. It was generally peaceful, none of them were “bad kids.” They were just kids who happened to be victims of the wrath of cranky adults. I mean sure, there was the odd cheater, or homework copycat, even a vandal, but they were generally all good kids. So like any good students, they were shocked when two figures dressed in black, with Pikachu masks, burst into the room holding neon pink guns.

“Nobody move!” said the shorter man in an uncharacteristically deep voice that did not match his stature. He held his ridiculously colored weapon at the sea of students. “Or we will shoot!”

“Aren’t those water guns?” A boy with a baseball cap remarked from the back of the room.

“But you aren’t gonna like what’s in them,” the shorter one replied with a vicious grin in his voice. The students in detention fell silent at this.

“We only have business with one person,” the taller figure said, in somewhat of a nervous tone. The other one nodded a bit too enthusiastically.

“Agent Neet is correct,” he affirmed. “The rest of you are free to go. Well I mean you guys can’t go go. This is detention!  
We’re here for him!” The short man jerked his thumb at the sophomore dressed in green.

"Me?” Seto Kousuke looked around. He snapped his fingers in realization and turned with a grin towards the masked figures. “Ah! I see my application for the humane rights of Pokémon finally went through! Are you guys here to take me to the secret Pokélair? I’ve waited months for a reply!” The two intruders stared at the boy in what seemed to be incredulity. But you couldn’t really tell since they were wearing masks.

“Yes!” The tall one said with exasperation and relief, nudging the short one. “That’s exactly what we’re here for! You have no choice! You’re coming with us.”  
Not one of the students in detention would be able to tell you what exactly happened next. With a giant leap the two jumped over the front row of desks to the second row, where they accidentally crashed into the sophomore. After recovering from their less-than-graceful fall, the taller one slung Seto over his shoulder as the other quickly tied his hands together.

“This is fun!” The short kidnapper was heard to giggle quietly. The two leaped back over the desks (and the students that occupied them) and dashed to the front of the room.

“To protect the world from devastation!” The short man cackled as the two ran out of the room, carrying an excited looking Seto over their shoulders.  
The occupants of room 1516 stared the spot where the masked figures had exited for a long while before anyone spoke.

“... did Kousuke just get kidnapped by Team Rocket…?”

 

...

 

If Kenjirou had been cranky before, he was feeling enraged now. The little twerp who had disturbed his independent educational period had escaped, nowhere to be found. It was like the kid had just disappeared.

He needed to take out his rage, give out some homework, maybe assign a seven page essay to his students for the weekend. Or a ten page essay. Yes, ten pages would be a perfect number to make them squirm. Kenjirou’s heart felt lighter at the thought of it.

Just as he turned the corner back towards the detention classroom, he crashed into two people wearing Pikachu masks, running like mad men down the hallway.

“Ooowww,” he groaned on the floor. “No running in the halls! Do you kids want a…” But the crazies were off again, appearing to be running even faster than before. This time  
Kenjirou noticed that there were actually three of them.  
And one of them was detention boy.

Kenjirou tore after them like a charging bull.

“Backup!” He roared through the halls, hoping one of his comrades would come out to help. “I need backup! Requesting backup! We have a breakout! I repeat a breakout!”  
Unfortunately, no one came out. Maybe because they were used to his false alarms, but hey. It wasn’t Kenjirou’s fault that it was kinda funny to see them come running out of their classrooms like the school was on fire. Still, none of the staff emerged from their rooms. Kenjirou gritted his teeth. He would deal with these delinquents himself. 

 

…

 

“Run!!!” Kano screamed to Shintaro next to him. “Run like your life depends on it! CAUSE IT DOES!”

“I am!!” Shintaro screamed back. “I’m the one that’s carrying this heavy moron!” He shifted Seto higher up his shoulder.

“So what are your names?” Seto said amicably. “Are we gonna be friends in the Pokélair? I hope we can. This is fun!

“I thought Hibiya was distracting him!” Kano panted, ignoring the green boy. “Where did he go?”

“I think he saw us go into the classroom and thought it was safe to lose Kenjirou-Sensei. Let’s just get to the car!”  
The three teenage boys burst from the school building and ran as if hell were on their heels (cause it was) towards the back parking lot. Once they saw the silver vehicle, they  
wasted no time.

“Start the car!” Kano screamed at Kido, who was sitting peacefully in her Toyota listening to music.

“What the-“ Kido was jolted out of her relaxation. At first, she looked out of the window to yell at Kano but saw the teacher running at full speed behind them.

“Holy- is that Kenjirou-Sensei?”  
“Just start the dang car, woman!” Kano screamed again. He reached the passenger side door and yanked it open.

“Gogogogogo!!” Kido stumbled with the key before finally starting the ignition. Kano climbed inside the car and Shintaro tossed Seto in the backseat before crawling in after him. As soon as they were all in, Kido zoomed away from the school grounds as fast as possible.

 

...

 

Kenjirou watched in disbelief as the Toyota tore away from the school and out of his reach of punishment. He fell to his knees in the school parking lot, trembling with anger.  
He threw his hands into the air.

“Curse you Pikachu!!!” He screamed to the sky. “I will never forgive youuuu!!”

 

...

 

Takane Enemoto sat on a pastel-pink bed, punching an unfortunate Pikachu pillow that happened to be lying beside her. She never thought she’d be in the “before date” situation. Yet here she was, stuck in the midst of that gross period of time when three teen girls started squealing about how a boy had asked one of them out. Ugh.

Takane hated romance and mushy-gushy stuff about true love and sweet first kisses. She loathed girly talks about who hearts who and when someone would ask her crush out. It was so disgusting. She preferred playing video games and listening to music, or perhaps discussing the latest computer model. Now that was interesting. So why, she questioned herself, was she watching Momo Kisaragi help Marry Kozakura prepare for her first date?

She couldn’t believe she had been pressured to help stop this, but then again, it was for her sweet friend Ayano. Takane gave an audible sigh, hoping to get the attention of the two other girls in the room. Much to her annoyance, they didn’t notice.  
Instead, Momo turned Marry to face Takane and asked, “What do you think, Takane senpai?”

Takane, forgetting all feelings of annoyance, was mortified when she saw Marry’s face. It looked as though she had a rash on her cheeks with the immense amount of blush that had been put on her face, and her eyeshadow (which reached her eyebrows) was a neon green. All of her nails had been painted a different color, each one clashing with the other.  
Deep purple lipstick had been, most carefully and considerately, applied to Marry’s lips, giving her a very gothic look that did not match her personality.

Poor Marry, unaware of the travesty occurring upon her face, gave a tiny smile. “I’m so glad I have friends like you,” she said. “Making me all pretty before my d-d…d-d…”

“Date?” Momo offered, shoving a large, pinkish puffball into Marry’s face.  
Marry coughed. “Y-yeah. I’m so nervous I can’t even say the word!”  
Momo smiled. “You’re such a sweet, kind, cute girl! It’s impossible not to like you!!”

“R-really?”

“Yeah! Right Takane senpai?”  
Takane had been unable to move for the past few minutes due to the horror that used to be Marry’s face. She stood staring, her jaw dropped.

“Takane senpai?”  
Takane turned to Momo, meaning to tell her that Marry’s makeover was a complete failure, but the freshman’s innocent look stopped the older girl in her scolding. It was just not possible. Momo had good intentions. Takane could not find the heart to tell her off. But Marry! She couldn’t be allowed outside looking like that! Takane would pity the dude (whatever his name was) who had asked her out-- only the fearsome Momo Kisaragi was capable of turning an adorable face into such a terrifying spectacle. It was quite fearsome.

“Senpai? Yo, senpai?”  
Takane forced a smile. “It looks… ch-charming…”

“Thanks, senpai!” Momo chirped. “Now, Marry-chan, it’s time for you to see what you look like!”  
With a grand flourish, Momo spun Marry around in her chair so she was facing a mirror. Marry’s image was reflected clearly in the shiny glass, making it look all the worse.  
Marry’s delighted face dropped into an expression of shock. And horror.

"It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Momo sighed. “I must say, I did quite well…”

“I look atrocious.” Marry deadpanned.

Takane almost fell flat on her face.

'Marry’s so blunt… oh well. At least she was able to say what I couldn’t. How will Momo react?'  
Momo’s face was completely blank. After a moment, she brightened and said, “Thank you! What a nice compliment!”

This time, Marry joined Takane in nearly slamming into the ground. Was there something wrong with this girl’s head?

Momo continued without noticing the other girls. “At first, I was like ‘what does atrocious mean again?’ But then I realized that it has a -cious ending. And that’s what delicious has! Something tastes good when it’s delicious, so faces must be good-looking when they’re atrocious! It makes so much sense!”

“T-Takane senpai, help me…” Marry whimpered, casting fearful glances toward Momo, who was still ranting about how amazing words were or something.  
Takane gave a large and dramatic sigh, one that was probably too emotional for the occasion, and grabbed a fistful of wipes from the make-up kit.

First, she brushed a dainty layer of powder onto Marry’s face, making it thicker on her forehead and nose, and added a light dusting of blush to her cheeks (after painstakingly removing the tens of layers of blush that Momo had slapped onto the poor sophomore’s face). Then she carefully wiped the bright green eyeshadow from Marry’s face and replaced it with a shiny, light emerald color that helped her red eyes stand out, lining them with eyeliner and brushing her lashes with mascara. Takane selected a pinkish lipstick from the kit and applied it to Marry’s lips. She removed each of the neon colors that had been painted on Marry’s nails replaced them with a soft pink nail polish.

Takane stood back to look at her handiwork, and, she had to say, she had done a pretty good job. Marry looked beautiful.  
Momo nodded her consent. “You look great, Marry! Although the colors are--”

“So!” Takane said loudly, stopping Momo as she approached Marry with a bottle of neon nail polish and a gleeful (*cough*psychotic*cough*) look. “Are you excited, Marry?”  
Marry bobbed her small head up and down. “Oh, yes. Miyazaru is very kind. I can’t wait.”  
Takane pondered how she should continue. They needed to know where this date was taking place, and it was her and Momo’s job to get that information. Being subtle was key.

Takane tried to speak casually, “Where’s it taking place, anyway?”  
“A café.” Marry said, clapping her hands. “I love cafés! This one especially!”

Takane gave Momo (who was staring into space and probably thinking about that weird limited edition keychain she had been looking at in a magazine earlier) a look that was supposed to say, Probe some more and ask which cafe she means. Or do something useful!

But Momo, snapping out of her daydream, gave Takane a smile with a questioning look and nothing more. A tick mark appeared on Takane’s head involuntarily.  
Through slightly gritted teeth, Takane asked, “Which café do you mean?”

Marry opened her mouth then closed it. “Er, well…” she stammered. “I… I don’t really want to tell… you… b-because you might follow me…”  
Takane’s jaw fell. How did she know? Momo laughed nervously. “F-follow you! Now, who would do such a thing? Not us, for sure!”

Takane recovered quickly and nodded. “It’s fine if you don’t want to tell us.” She said. It’s time for Plan B, then. Sorry, Marry.  
Then Momo whispered, “F-fine?!” all too loudly, earning a small jab in the stomach from Takane.  
Coughing a little, Momo asked, very quietly, “How’s it fine? Don’t we need to find out the location of her date?”

So she did have some sense.

“It’s all right,” Takane murmured. “We still have Plan B.”

“What’s that?” Momo questioned, but Takane only shushed her.

“Well, Marry, let’s choose a dress for you!!” Takane chirped in a sunny voice, feeling slightly humiliated at using such a honey-sweet tone.  
Marry jumped up and dashed to her closet, pulling out different dresses and outfits.

“Wh-what would be suitable?” she cried, flinging more clothes onto the floor behind her. “I-I don’t want Miyazaru to think I look weird or a-anything…”  
Momo grabbed her shoulders. “Don’t you worry!” she exclaimed, her eyes shining.

Takane immediately began to worry.

“I’m an idol, remember? I’ll choose a chic and adorable outfit for you!” Momo went on. “And he’ll fall head-over-heels for you~”

Takane wrung her hands. She had survived the Make-up Trial, but things had only just begun.

 

...

 

“Bye Marry! Have fun!” Momo called as Marry trotted away from her house.  
Takane gave a sigh of relief. Getting Mary ready was over. She could breathe again.  
Marry waved, turned a corner, and disappeared from sight. As soon as this happened, Takane grabbed a pink Disney Princess walkie-talkie from her bag. She and Momo leaned over it.

“Come in, Cat-eyes, come in.” Takane said. “This is Ene and RedBeanSoda. The target has left the house. I repeat, the target has left the house. Over.”  
Static, then, “This is Cat-eyes. So the target has left the house, huh? Are you putting Plan B into action? Over.”  
Momo nodded, forgetting that only Takane could see her. “Takane Senpai explained the details to me. How are things on your side, Kano?”  
“Tsk,” Kano sighed on the other end. “We’re using nicknames, remember, Momo? I’m Cat-eyes, Takane is Ene, Haruka is Konoha, Kido is General, Hibiya is Shota, Shintaro is  
TheNeetWho’sNotNeat (Just plain NEET for short), Seto is the Frog, and Marry is the target. You’re RedBeanSoda. And say ‘over’ when you’re done speaking. Got it? Over.”

“Got it!” Momo confirmed. “But why am I RedBeanSoda, again?"

“Now commencing the operation. Plan B has begun!” Takane proclaimed.  
She took Momo’s wrist and dragged her toward the corner where Marry had turned, and she spotted a sparkly dress disappearing around another.

“It was very strategic of you to choose a dress that’s so easily spotted. Nice job.” Takane mused.  
Momo cocked her head. “Oh, thanks. I just chose it because it was super-duper glittery, actually…”

Takane ignored this remark and noticed the trail of sparkles that Marry’s dress had left. Perfect! Even if they lost sight of Marry, they would find her thanks to the sparkles.  
Stalking hadn’t been their first choice, but, hey, it was going pretty well.

Takane and Momo ran quickly and quietly, following the glitter until Marry was in their line of view again.  
Momo fished the walkie-talkie out of Takane’s purse and said, “Come in General! Cat-eyes! It’s RedBeanSoda and Ene! Over!”

After a moment of silence, Kido’s voice rang through the device. “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“General!” Momo exclaimed. “The target has left the house. Over.”

“Yeah, I know. I heard it from Kano.” Kido replied, and Takane heard faint cries of “why won’t you use the code names?!” on the other end. “Where is she now?”  
Momo glanced around for the street name before responding, “[Hamster] King Avenue.”

“[Hamster] King Avenue. Got it. Thanks.” Kido said. “Keep me updated.”  
The two partners-in-crime-- er, that is, the two friends-- hurried along the sidewalk to keep up with Marry. Momo picked up he walkie-talkie again.

“She’s on Summer Street, now.”

“Understood.” Kano’s voice responded.

“Eh? Kano? What happened to Kido?” Momo asked.  
Kano sighed on the opposite end. “Use the code names! Well, whatever. My dear Tsubomi’s a little busy driving right now, so I’ll be the one listening to your directions.”  
A loud smack was heard on Kano’s end, and Takane guessed that Kido had hit Kano for calling her Tsubomi.

“At this rate,” Momo said, turning to Takane and ignoring the racket on the other end. “We won’t arrive in time to stop Marry’s date. She’ll already be talking with Miyaru dude before Leader and the others get there since they’re going based off of our directions.”

“Don’t worry.” Takane reassured her. “I planned for this. And his name is Miyazaru.” She whipped out her phone, its blue case glinting in the sunlight, while Momo mumbled something to the effect of “like I care what his name is.”  
Takane went on, “I can calculate where she’ll end based on the places she’s been so far.”

“Woah! You can do that, Senpai? How?” Momo’s eyes widened.

“Yeah,” Takane smiled, feeling prideful. “I’ve always been good with electronics. Using my phone, I can predict where she’ll end up.”

“That’s so cool!” Momo squealed. “But couldn’t you have done that to track where she’d gone? That way we wouldn’t have to stalk her publically…”  
Good point. Takane shushed Momo and punched a few letters into the search bar of her phone.

“Ah-ha!” she cried.

“What? What?” Momo gasped.

“I have found the location of Marry’s date!” Takane announced triumphantly. “It was nothing!”

“Ooh! Great job, Senpai! Where’s she going?” Momo jumped up and down excitedly.

“She is going to the café…” Takane jabbed a finger at two words on her phone’s map. “On Forest Drive!”

 

...

 

“Alright!” Kano said snapping his walkie-talkie closed. “The location of our target is that little cafe on Forest Drive! Takane and Momo finally managed to get the location out of Marry without violence. I repeat, without violence. Only a bit of stalking. This is a historical moment here, folks.”

“The parking there is really bad.” Kido warned. “You guys may have to just jump out quickly… and don’t forget to grab Hibiya.” Shintaro looked around the car in confusion.

“Uh… where? I don’t see that kid anywhere,” he asked.  
A loud thump and call of, “don’t call me a kid!” came from the back of the car. “He’s in the trunk?!”

Kido nodded in confirmation. “I let him hide in there when Kenjirou-Sensei came prowling around the parking lot trying to find him. Then you guys came running out here so I had no time to get him out of the trunk.”

“Uh, can I ask why you guys just kidnapped me and LIED to my face about bringing me to the Pokélair?” Seto spoke up. After they had left the school grounds, Seto had been dismayed to learn that his kidnappers weren’t the official Pokéteam, but his weird friends.

“Cause you were being stupid!” Kano unhelpfully replied, turning around in his seat and sticking his tongue out at the poor boy.

“Wait why?” Seto cried in confusion. “What have I done wrong?” Shintaro scoffed in disbelief.

“What this idiot is trying to say,” Kido began, motioning to Kano. “Is that you’re being stupid about your feelings for Marry. You’re seriously letting the girl you’ve loved since first grade get taken away cause you’re a coward who can’t tell her your feelings? Man up, Seto! Marry can’t wait for you forever! The only reason she’s going on this date is cause for some stupid reason, she thinks you don’t love her like she loves you!” Seto leaned back in shock into the car seat.

“Marry loves me…?” he murmured to himself. “I-I didn’t know she was waiting for me. I thought she would be happier with someone else rather than me...”

“Oh please,” Shintaro interjected. “Everyone can that tell you guys like each other. You’re both just too scared to say so cause you’re scared of being rejected. Which won’t happen, you blind idiot.” Seto nodded dumbly, still in disbelief over what he had just been told.

“Now,” Kano said to Seto gently, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It’s up to you. We are going to stop Marry’s date, with or without you, because we are her friends, and we know she can only be happy with you. Are you with us or not?”  
Seto looked up at Kano, a new sense of determination and resolve in his eyes.

“I’m in,” he smiled. “Let’s go stop Marry’s date. It’s time I stop being a coward.”

 

...

 

“Aaaaaand we’re here!” Kano drawled as the silver Toyota approached the little cafe on Forest Drive.

“About time,” Kido grumbled with a tired yawn, hands coasting over the wheel. “If I had to listen one more time to A Whole New World, someone would have had to die, and  
preferably you Kano.” Kano looked over at Kido with a concerned look, picking up on her minute action.

Kido was probably Kano’s oldest friend. He still remembered the way she “gave” her scarf to him on the first day of kindergarten, complaining that she didn’t need it. Kano knew she gave it to him because he was cold and lonely. It had been the first day at a new school, a cold winter day. She became his first friend, sticking beside him through thick and thin. Kido knew everything about Kano, and Kano knew everything about Kido. 

Don’t kill me Tsubomi!” he joked, before going on in a more serious tone. “You feeling okay? You’ve been yawning this entire car ride.” Kido punched Kano lightly in the arm. 

“Stop calling me that. And I’m fine,” she said gruffly, focusing on the road in front of her. “Just tired. I was up all last night and the night before that working on a group project for history. My stupid group members did nothing to help me.”

“You did all the work for those jerks?” he snorted. “Nobody works as hard or cares as much as you do. You need to take better care of yourself, Tsubomi.” Kido gave a small blush at his caring words, trying to turn her face away from Kano, who persistently followed her with his gaze.

“S-stop patronizing me, Shuuya!” she stuttered, not realizing she had also slipped into calling Kano by his first name. “I-I just wanted a good grade for the class! And like I said, I’m fine. I’m used to this kind of stuff.”

“Tsubomi…”

“Not to interrupt anything,” Shintaro rudely interrupted. “But if we want to stop Marry’s date on time… we should get going now.” Kano blinked, startled, before agreeing with Shintaro.

“Y-yeah,” he agreed. “Let’s get going. Grab frog boy. I’ll get the kid out of the trunk.” Seto jumped up beside Shintaro.

“I’m here!” he said in a determined voice. “And I’m gonna stop this date! I’m gonna tell Marry I love her and stop being a coward!”

“Yeah, let’s see you say that right in front of her,” Shintaro snorted.

“Seto’s not going to wimp out this time,” Kido gave one of her rare smiles and turned around to look at her childhood friend. “I know it. Plus if he does I’ll kick his butt.” Seto paled and nodded vigorously.

“This is our stop,” Shintaro announced, as Kido pulled up to the little cafe. He and Seto quickly got out and walked to the back of the car to grab poor Hibiya, who looked like the victim of a kidnapping to innocent passerbyers. Kano turned to Kido.

“You should go home,” he advised her. “Don’t wait around for us, we can take the bus home or seonthing. You need your rest.” Kido shook her head, holding back a yawn.

“I can’t do that,” she said stubbornly. “I promised you guys a ride in exchange for my book report. I have to keep a deal. And Marry’s my friend too. I want to be there to support her. I’ll find a parking place and come back.” Kano scowled at this.

“No! You’re exhausted, anyone can see! Go home and get some rest. It’s not safe to drive when you’re this tired!”

“No!” Kido crossed her arms, speaking like a child. “You can’t make me!” Kano raked his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Stop acting so foolishly!” he yelled at her. “Take care of yourself for once!” Kido’s eyes glinted angrily.  
“You stop telling me what to do!” She yelled back at him, crossing her arms. “I want to be there for my friend! You would do the same!” This made Kano hesitate.

“Kido, I-“

“Hey lovebirds,” Shintaro interrupted, tapping the glass. “We need to get going before this one chickens out.” He motioned to a nervous and jittery Seto, standing behind him.<

“Can we just get going?” Hibiya groaned, holding onto Seto’s jacket while stretching out his back. “I think Seto-san is about to run.”

“N-no I’m not!” the boy protested. “I’m just a bit nervous, that’s all! You don’t have to hold onto me like that, Hibiya. I’m not going to run off.”

“Seto, you’re literally trying to walk away as you’re speaking,” Kano deadpanned. The boy in green laughed nervously and walked back towards his friends.

“Nervous habit!” he squeaked.

“Let’s just get going before Marry arrives,” Hibiya sighed. Together, he and Shintaro dragged Seto towards the cafe, ignoring his cries and protests of “wait no, I’m not ready!”  
Kano sighed and turned back towards Kido.

“Just,” he sighed, tilting his head back. “Just be careful when driving. Come straight to the cafe after you park, okay?” Kido smiled him, glad that her friend had finally given up on convincing her to go home.

“I will, don’t worry, Kano. I can take care of myself.”  
Kano hesitated, still worried about Kido. Finally he shook his head clear of thoughts and opened the car door. He paused, as if hit by an afterthought. Swiftly, Kano turned his head toward Kido. He held onto her cheek and tilted her head up towards his. Kano then leaned close and gently pecked Kido on the lips.

“Get some rest soon.”  
Without waiting to see her reaction, Kano leaped out of the car and ran into the cafe, trying to hide his burning face. 

So he missed the shocked look on Kido’s face slowly turning into a small, happy smile, with her cheeks painted a faint pink. 

 

...

 

Marry skipped happily along the sidewalk towards Forest Drive. She was going to be early, but that was okay. Better than keeping Miyazaru waiting. He wasn’t her perfect prince, although he’d have to do, since that stupid Seto was out of the question. What a dense guy he was! He must be part brick wall. Not that she cared about Mr. Seto Brick Wall anymore. She had Miyazaru now.

He was a nice guy, about 5’6”-- shorter than Seto, but it was alright. He was always helping her out with her homework and participating in class-- not as smart as Seto, but what did that matter? He was quite kind-- though not nearly so polite as Seto, it was fine. His hair was a messy brown that matched the color of his eyes-- it wasn’t the raven black locks of Seto with his princely, chocolate brown eyes, but it was satisfactory.

Marry stopped dead in her tracks and fell to the ground in despair. Why, why, why did she have to think about Seto all the time? She hated him now, didn’t she? She had every right to, with his annoying fake smiles and extreme amount of denseness. Who cared that he had saved her from her loneliness when they were in first grade? Who cared that they had been friends for so long? Not her, certainly. Not her.

Right?

But even now, she was headed to the café where they had first become friends. Of course this would have to be the perfect location her date with Miyazaru, being a cute place and the only good café within walking distance of both of their houses. She gave a long sigh. Everything was alright. She was moving on from Seto. Yeah. Still, though…

“You’re an idiot, Seto…” she muttered to herself, stomping across a road.  
The café was in her sight, now. She could see its large green letters, reading Forest Café, welcoming her like an old friend as its sky blue walls bade her come in. The double doors seemed so pleasant with glass flowers with light bulbs inside hovering over them for lights. Trees surrounded the courtyard’s dark green glass tables while metal chairs of the same shade were placed around. Each table was florally decorated, and Marry breathed in the sweet scent. People, chatting happily, occupied different seats. Marry smiled. She was at peace. She was ready. 

 

...

 

Now, the one thing (rather, multiple “things”) that Marry had failed to notice about the café was the faces of those table occupants. Had she looked any closer, strained her ears just a tiny bit more, she may have noticed that they were acting suspicious and looked strangely familiar, or that their conversation was not so light-hearted, but rather forcedly cheerful and nervous. For one thing, one of the shorter persons was wearing a pair of glasses attached to a large nose and black mustache that did not match his sandy blonde hair. A black-haired boy dressed in green hid behind a menu while a kid in a vest tried to pull him out. Two girls, one with pigtails and one with a side ponytail, continuously scooted away from a guy in a jersey doing his best to talk to them. These suspicious characters, of course, were none other than Marry’s friends/stalkers, the Dan.

Kano removed his glasses-nose-mustache disguise, and Seto peeked out from behind the menu.

“Sh-sh-she went i-in!” Seto cried. “Wh-wh-wh-wh-what do we do now?!?!”

“Chillax, dude.” Shintaro said cooly. “Just go do it.”

"Easy for you to say, Onii-chan!” Momo huffed. “He’s about to confess his true love! Of course he’s going to have some nerves! And, if you ask me, all you ever do is relax.”

“Quite true.” Takane agreed. “I wonder how that stomach’s looking…”

“Sh-shut up!” Shintaro yelled, pulling his shirt lower.  
Hibiya dragged a stuttering Seto from under a table. “It’s now or never.” he said to the whimpering Seto.

“Hibiya’s right!” Momo said. “You can do this, Seto senpai! Good job, by the way, Hibiya! I knew we could count on you to break Seto out of jail! Er-- detention.”  
Hibiya found himself blushing at Momo’s praise.

“G-geez, auntie!” he said. “Y-you could o-obviously count on me!”

“Don’t call me auntie!” Momo glared at him, placing her hands on her hips.

“W-whatever!” Hibiya snapped.

“Ah, bittersweet love!” Kano called from his seat. “You’re so tsundere, Hibiya.”

“I-I am n-not tsundere!” Hibiya hissed, his face and ears burning a scarlet red.

“Oh?” Kano teased further. “Then why are you so red?”

“I-it’s hot out here!” Hibiya said loudly. “Let’s go inside!”

“Hibiya, the café’s windows are open. I can feel the AC from here.”

“Ah! W-who cares! W-we’re wasting time!”  
Hibiya marched toward the building, and the others followed.

Kano smirked. “How cute.”  
He suddenly remembered his very recent kiss with Kido, and his own face became the color of a strawberry.

“W-well, I guess it’s p-pretty hot out here after all.” he mumbled to no one in particular.

“Kaaano senpaiiii!” Momo called. “Hurry up! And bring Seto senpai with you!”  
Kano turned round and round, but Seto was nowhere in sight.

Momo sighed, “He’s in the bushes.”  
Kano swiveled around and saw Seto huddling in front of a bush that matched his clothes. He camouflaged (almost) perfectly.

Kano grabbed his friend’s hood and dragged him to the door of the café, putting up with his protests of “nooooooo!” and “stooooop!” and “my heart isn’t reaaaaady!”  
Kano pulled the nervous boy to his feet, rolled his shoulders, and pushed open the door. Showtime. 

 

...

 

Haruka leaned back in his chair and popped out the kinks in his back. He swiveled around in his chair to look at the clock that hung in the school library. He had finished Kido’s book report just in time, five minutes until closing. He could still catch the late bus. But first, he had to know where his friends had gone. Haruka jiggled his bookbag around until he got a hold of his phone. He then opened the phone application and pressed number six on speed dial.

Haruka hummed in time to the dial tone, absentmindedly sketching on some spare notebook paper until the person on the other end picked up.

“Hello? Haruka?” A gruff voice answered. Haruka smiled upon hearing the rough but familiar tone.

"Takane!” He said happily. “I finished Danchou’s book report. Where should I meet you guys?”

“Um, hang on a sec,” the pigtailed girl replied. “It’s the… yeah, the cafe on Forest Drive. Marry’s date is gonna be here any second.” Haruka nodded, despite the fact no one could see him except the demon librarian, who was trying to fry him with her eye lasers for making a phone call inside the library.

“Ok.” Haruka began to pack up his things. “I’ll meet you guys over there. I’m going to catch the late bus.” Haruka was looking forward to interrupting Marry’s date. It would be an interesting experience and a good push for his friends to confess their feelings. Plus, it didn’t hurt that the Forest Drive cafe had great pastries. And sandwiches. Haruka would kill for one of those sandwiches.

“Haruka…” Takane warned. “Don’t go too crazy when you get here. You didn’t get to eat your afternoon snack today since you were working on that book report, so I know you’re hungry. I’ll get you a snack, but remember what happened before. I love you and all, but I don’t want to get kicked out of another cafe after you went ‘Kuroha’ at the last one.”

"Kuroha” was the Dan’s code word for when Haruka went homicidal for the sake of food. Unfortunately, “Kuroha” had emerged more than once during the times when Haruka forgot his afternoon snack.  
Haruka laughed cheerily, zipping up his backpack to mask the sound of it from the librarian. “Don’t worry Takane! I’ll just get something to eat on the way there! It’ll all be good.”

“Alright,” she replied gruffly. “Just come quick. I’ll get you something to eat here so don’t worry about it. See you here.”

“Yay!” Haruka cheered quietly. “Bye, Takane! Love you too!”

“...”  
“Takane..?”

“EHHHHH?!?!”

The loud shout from the other side of Haruka’s phone sounded throughout the library. Haruka grabbed his head in pain from the loud girl that nearly made him deaf. He paled as he noticed the librarian near sprinting towards him. Haruka grabbed the fistful of papers left on his table and ran for his life out of the library.

“W-what was that for?” Haruka cried as he ran through from the school building and the 100 year old lady chasing him down the street. He noticed the bus and quickly hopped on, screaming at the driver to step on it. The startled man dropped his sub (Mmmmm yum, I want one too thought Haruka) and started up the bus.

“Y-you…” Takane stuttered on the other side of the phone, as Haruka collapsed into the bus seat. “You said you loved me!”  
The boy frowned, confused as to why this was such a big deal.

“So did you?” He remarked. Haruka heard only silence, before a small, high pitched “eep!” sounded on the other line and he couldn’t help smiling at Takane’s cute yelp.

“Y-you,” she squealed. “Idiot!! I-I’ll see you here. D-don’t be late!” With that, the line clicked dead and Haruka was once again left with the buzzing dial tone.  
Haruka gave a small sigh of happiness and opened up his backpack to put his drawings in his folder.

“In you go!” He smiled to himself, and slid the countless little sketches of Takane into his folder.

 

…

 

Momo spotted Marry sitting alone at a table inside the café. She was fidgeting with her sparkly pink dress and mumbling some sort of chant to dispell fear, ignorant of the big things that were about to go down.

From her place behind a corner, Momo giggled quietly. This was too much fun! It was as if she was a secret spy or something, preparing to save the day. Ooh, like a ninja.  
Yeah, a ninja sounded cool.

“Auntie,” a voice said in her ear.  
Momo yelped in surprise, and Hibiya’s hand clamped over her mouth.

“Shh!” he hissed. “Marry’s right there!”

“Mfff mrfmuuu,” Momo responded.  
Hibiya looked at his hand on her mouth as if he had forgotten it was there, and he quickly removed it. Momo thought he looked a little pink in the face, but she wasn’t really sure.

“Sorry,” she said. “You surprised me!”

“W-well, you should be more alert!” Hibiya retorted. “We’re on a mission here.”

“I know!” Momo squealed. “Isn’t it exciting?”  
Hibiya rolled his eyes, but Momo ignored him.

"I’m a ninja! And I’ll save the day!"

“More like you’ll ruin it.”

“Hey!”

“Shut up! She’ll hear you!”  
Momo stuck her tongue out at her fellow freshman. He returned with a glare.

“Hey, you two!” a pair of hands grabbed their shoulders and yanked them backwards.  
Shintaro crouched behind them, a frown plastered into his face like always.

“Don’t just sit here,” he said. “People will get suspicious!”

“You’re the most suspicious character of all, Onii-chan.” Momo pointed out with a shrug.  
Shintaro scowled.

“He has a point.” Hibiya said, partly because he felt bad for Shintaro and partly because people were beginning to stare. Three teens crouching in a corner wasn’t exactly inconspicuous.  
Momo sighed. “Fiiiiiine. We’ll wait at the table. But it’s so much more fun to be a ninja and spy from the corner.”

“What?” Hibiya and Shintaro asked.

“Nothing.” Momo waved the question aside. “Let’s go.”

 

…

 

“Everything’s fine, everything’s fine, everything’s gonna be fine…” Marry chanted dizzily to herself, fists clenched in her sparkly dress. “Miyazaru will be here soon. After all, it’s only…” she glanced up at the clock.

“...3:45…” She finished in despair. She was still 15 minutes early.

Marry couldn’t help wondering if Seto would be early, late, or right on time if they went on a date together. She sat up sharply and slapped her cheeks. No thinking about Seto! It was time to forget all about him. But Marry hesitated. She kept on thinking about all the what if’s.

“Seto…” she whispered to herself.  
Marry closed her eyes and thought about all of the happy times they had had together. Going out for tea, reading manga together, telling jokes and stories. She pictured Seto’s smiling face, his flustered expressions, and his sad eyes. The face she had loved so much.  
Marry opened her eyes.

To her utter shock, a flustered Seto sat right before her in the café, occupying the chair meant for Miyazaru. For a moment, they sat in silence. Then Marry laughed out loud.

“It’s finally happened!” she announced to no one in particular. “I’m going crazy because I was thinking about Seto so much. I’m seeing him! I’m seeing his phantoms!”  
She didn’t know whether to feel relieved or cry or be happy.  
Seto shifted uncomfortably in his seat and said, “I’m real, Marry.”

Marry laughed again and responded, “Oh, yes, of course a phantom would say that they’re real. That always happens in books, you know. But let’s have a nice chat, Phantom Seto. I can pretend you’re real if you want me to. Some phantoms get mad when you say they’re fake. Will you be mad?”

“Of course not, Marry,” the nervous boy responded.

"Well then,” Marry choked back her tears. “I love you very much, Seto. But you apparently love me as no more than a little sister. So that is why I will have this date with Miyazaru, forget about my feelings for you and eventually fall in love with him so we can get married and have a dozen puppies."

“Marry…” the Phantom Seto leaned across the table and gently took Marry’s trembling hands into his. “It’s me, I’m real. Can’t you feel me?”  
Marry let out a small sob. “You can’t be real. But you are, you are, you are!”

“I am. And I-I wanted to tell you that I love you too. I’ve just been such a huge coward about this. I love you as much more than a sister and I want to get married in your grandparents cottage in the woods, and start a family and adopt maybe a dozen puppies and hamsters. So will you ditch this date and come with me? I promise not to ever hurt you again, just give me a chance.”

Tears streamed down the small girl’s face. “Oh, Seto,” she whimpered. “Of course I would choose you. I’ve only ever loved and chosen you.”  
Seto’s chair scraped against the ground as he leaped up to embrace Marry in his arms, who was openly sobbing by now.

“I love you, Marry,” he whispered into her ear. “And I won't let you go again.”

 

…

 

“I-I just…” Momo blubbed, ugly sobs escaping her mouth. “I just love true love!”

"S-shut up auntie!” Hibiya sniffed, wiping back tears. “You’re too loud!”

“Y-you hypocrite!” Kano wailed, blowing his nose loudly. “You’re crying like a baby too!”

“I can’t believe you freaks are my friends,” Shintaro moaned.

"Just g-go make yourself useful, Onii-chan, and check on Ayano or s-something!” Momo hiccuped.  
“Geesh, fine. Anything to get away from you weirdos.” Shintaro rolled his eyes and walked out the door, quickly dabbing at the tears on his cheeks once he was alone.

“I’m just so happy they’re finally together!” Momo sighed, once she was recovered from her tears. “They’re a match made in heaven, I tell you! In heaven! I wish I had a perfect soulmate like that! Honestly, I just really want a boyfriend. Somebody, come ask me out!”

“Hey kid,” Kano snickered and nudged Hibiya with a bony elbow. “Here’s your chance.”

“What?!” Hibiya shrieked, drawing concerned looks.

“Go get your girl!” Takane snickered and shoved Hibiya into Momo.

“Wahh!” Momo exclaimed, almost tripping and falling. She turned around angrily. “What was that about, Hibiya?!”  
Hibiya turned bright red and began to scratch his head nervously. “S-sorry Momo.”

Momo frowned and stepped closer to put a hand on Hibiya’s forehead, which nearly made him combust. 

“You okay there?” Momo asked, concerned. Her face was mere inches away from Hibiya’s, he could see the small orange freckles on her pale skin. “You feel really warm! Your face is also badly flushed. It is pretty hot in here.”

Momo then moved her hand to her own head. “I think I’m coming down with something too! I hallucinated that you called me by my name and not ‘auntie’! C’mon, we better get ourselves home.”

Before Hibiya could say a word, Momo grabbed his hand and took off running through the streets. Strangely, he wasn’t protesting as much as usual. 

“Ah, young love!” Kano sighed dramatically, wiping away a fake tear. “It warms my old heart to see the blossoming of relationships.”o

“Don’t say you’re old,” Takane grunted, planting a fist on Kano’s skull. “I’m older than you. That’s like you’re calling me old. And speaking of young love, your girlfriend just walked in.”

The ringing of a small bell announced Kido’s arrival as she stepped into the café. She stared down the occupants with a cold glare to rival Satan. It softened a bit when she noticed Marry and Seto, sitting at a table, talking and laughing over sandwiches. The two hadn’t yet noticed their friends, not even with Kido’s entrance. Kido’s sharp, gray eyes moved around the small café before landing on Kano and Takane crouched in the corner.

“Someone’s in trouble~~” Takane cackled gleefully. “Look like lover boy’s about to get his butt whooped. Don’t worry, I’ll buy the flowers for your funeral. I hear Begonias are lovely this time of year.”  
Takane was enjoying herself way too much for Kano’s comfort, but be dusted himself off and pasted on his typical goofy grin.

“Ah, my dear Tsubomi! I’ve been waiting for you!” Kano bowed deeply, as if she were a princess.  
He waited for a slap upside the head for his antics, but surprisingly, none came. Kano looked up. Kido wouldn’t meet his eye, and she looked angry. Or was that happiness?  
With Kido, both expressions were basically the same, even to Kano, who knew her so well. Too well, in her opinion, but that was fine.  
Kano was about to start up his teasing again when he abruptly remembered their kiss. His face immediately reddened. How would he carry on now? How would their relationship change? What if Kido didn’t return his feelings? What if-

Kano was pulled out of his melancholy thoughts by a soft touch on his sleeve. Kido’s head was bent, hair hanging in her face and hiding her expression, so she looked upward to make eye contact with Kano.

“Did you mean to do what you did? In the car?” She asked quietly.

“Of c-course!” he stalled. “You need your rest and all and-”

“The k-kiss.” Kido blushed and looked away. “Stop fooling and tell me."  
Kano gulped. No turning back now.

“Of course I did.”

Kido looked up at Kano, small tears gathered at the corners of her eye, a light blush on her face and…  
The happiest smile Kano had ever seen.

Kido leaned in and gently kissed Kano on the cheek. “We should do it more,” she giggled, brushing back a strand of green hair.

Kano had to refrain from screaming “CUTE” in the middle of the cafe (Takane was still watching, half amused, half disgusted), so he settled for wrapping his arms around Kido and bringing her into a deep hug. Kido gave a little squeak but eventually wrapped her arms around Kano as well.

“So… Tsubomi” he began. “Would you do the honor of accompanying me on a date sometime?”

Kido made no noise, but nodded happily into Kano’s chest. “I’ve been waiting years for you to say that.”

“Sorry I took so long.” Kano ran a hand through her hair. “I love you, Tsubomi.”

“I love you too.”

“WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Loud whooping came from behind them. Kano and Kido whirled around to see their friends cheering and whistling. A shocked, but pleased Marry and Seto laughed at them, arms wrapped around each other. Momo whistled loudly, an arm around a blushing (but happy) looking Hibiya. Shintaro, feeling embarrassed and a bit bashful, clapped with a small smile on his face. Haruka and Takane held hands. Haruka cheered quietly while Takane looked at the two with a smug smile on her face.

“About time!” she cat-called the two childhood friends. “C’mon let’s ditch this place! We’re all headed to the park!”

“Hey!” An annoyed voice interjected before Kano could respond to Takane. “What are you kids doing in here? You’re disturbing customers!”  
Before they could be caught by an irate cafe manager, the Dan turned and sprinted out of the cafe, screaming and laughing. 

Kano laughed, running while holding onto Kido’s hand.

"This is the second time today!” Kido groaned, but smiled at her boyfriend nonetheless. “You guys are always getting me into trouble."  
Kano grinned. “You wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

Kido leaned in to kiss him. “Of course not. It must be that insane train of thought that makes me love you so much.”

 

 

Bonus

“Oh Shintaro…” Ayano sighed happily, ending with a cough. “Thank you for bringing the chicken soup, it was lovely. But you didn’t have to visit me, you could get sick too!”  
Shintaro finished rinsing the dishes and shook the water off his hands with a sharp shake. He then dried his hands on the towel before taking a seat beside Ayano at the kitchen table.

“Well…” he grumbled. “Takane and Momo wouldn’t get off my case about what an inconsiderate friend I was being to you. I mean, they could’ve made chicken soup themselves and taken time to visit you too!” Ayano chuckled at the boy’s complaints.

“You know very well both of them can’t cook. Besides, they’re both very busy at their jobs. Do you have a job, Shintaro?”  
Shintaro looked embarrassed. “Well… I mean not exactly. Not yet.” He amended. “But I will soon. Then I can get some spending money and start saving for college and stuff.” And ask you out he thought to himself.

Ayano sighed happily for a second time and leaned her head onto Shintaro’s shoulder. Shintaro unconsciously grasped onto her hand lying on the table, stroking it in comforting circles.

“Shintaro…” Ayano murmured gently. “Thank you again for doing all this. I’m really glad you came by to see me. You’re so sweet to me...” Shintaro gazed down to see wide brown eyes looking back up at him. Ayano and Shintaro stared at each other for a minute, not breaking eye contact, slowly moving closer, and closer, until…

Bam!

The two quickly broke apart as Kenjirou Tateyama barged into the kitchen with a rather loud bang of the door, holding onto a broom and wearing an apron that read “kiss the cook”. His glasses were also lopsided and he wore a singular sock. Ayano gave a small squeak and turned away from Shintaro with a red face. Shintaro fell out of his chair.

“Hey there Shintaro!” Kenjirou said in a scarily cheerful voice. “Didn’t see you come in! Did you need something?” Shintaro, remembering what Kano had told him, and recollecting the time Kenjirou-Sensei chased him and Kano down in the parking lot, began to quake with terror.

“H-hi Sensei…” Shintaro gave a shaky laugh, slowly backing away from the kitchen table towards the front door. “J-just here t-to bring Ayano h-homework and s-stuff.” Kenjirou shuffled after him, still holding onto the broom with a wide smile.

“What a nice friend you are, Shintaro!” Kenjirou said with a sickeningly sweet smile and a dangerous glint in his eyes. “But if I recall… your class wasn’t assigned any homework this evening.”

When Ayaka Tateyama arrived home that evening from work, she was greeted with her husband chasing a screaming teenager down the street with a broom and a maniacal laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> This took us like 3 months so comments and kudos would be very much appreciated!


End file.
